English-Friendly films of the complete Rialto Blu Ray Edgar Wallace collection

If you do not know already, you can get the german 34 movie "Edgar Wallace Gesamtedition" from Amazon.de ON BLU RAY (the dvd version has the older scans) Region: A, B, C. The scans are top quality (1.-4. 2K 5.-33. 4K!!!) and for the most part english subs and/or soundtrack. You get a bonus DVD and soundtrack CD too. And a booklet with all the original filmposters. The box contains the Giallos "Double Face", "What have they done to Solange",  and "Seven Blood-Stained Orchids", the latter two in both their different EdgarWallace and international versions (and the proto-giallo "Das indische Tuch" as well as "Der Mönch mit der Peitsche" which uses the same script as "Solange" (but with a Monk with a Whip instead of a Machete!!!)). Each BD has at least the original trailer too.

These are not all Edgar Wallace movies produced in Germany in the 60s but basically the most notable ones. For a complete list of all KRIMIS go HERE . For an overview on the different Krimi-franchises (Edgar Wallace, Bryan E. Wallace, L. Weinert-Wilton, Dr. Mabuse, Father Brown, "The Strangler" and the Rialto-produced EW-TV series ) go HERE.

Below is a list of the English-friendly parts of this box. There are other language/sound/sub  options too, so if .anyone knows about dutch, french, italian options, I'd be happy to include them here.

1. "Der Frosch mit der Maske" English sound, English subtitles

2. "Der rote Kreis" English sound, English subtitles

3. "Die Bande des Schreckens" English sound, English subtitles

4. "Der grüne Bogenschütze" no English, German only

5. "Die toten Augen von London" no English, German only

6. "Das Geheimnis der gelben Narzissen" no English, German only

7. "Der Fälscher von London" no English, German only

8. "Die seltsame Gräfin" English sound, English subtitles

9. "Das Rätsel der roten Orchidee" English sound, English subtitles

10. "Die Tür mit den 7 Schlössern" English sound, English subtitles

11. "Das Gasthaus an der Themse" English sound, English subtitles

12. "Der Zinker" English sound, English subtitles

13. "Der schwarze Abt" English sound, English subtitles

14. "Das indische Tuch" English sound, English subtitles

15. "Zimmer 13" English sound, English subtitles

16. "Der Hexer" English sound, English subtitles

17. "Die Gruft mit dem Rätselschloss" English sound, English subtitles

18. "Das Verrätertor" no English, German only

19. "Wartezimmer zum Jenseits" English sound, English subtitles - not an Edgar Wallace Movie but a Alfred Vohrer Krimi nevertheless

20. "Neues vom Hexer" no English, German only

21. "Der unheimliche Mönch" English sound, English subtitles

22. "Der Bucklige von Soho" English sound, English subtitles

23. "Das Geheimnis der weißen Nonne" 'English version as bonus film on the disk

24. "Die blaue Hand" no English, German only

25. "Der Mönch mit der Peitsche" English sound, English subtitles

26. "Der Hund von Blackwood Castle" English sound, English subtitles

27. "Im Banne des Unheimlichen" no English, German only

28. "Der Gorilla von Soho" English sound, English subtitles

29. "Der Mann mit dem Glasauge" English sound, English subtitles

30. "Das Gesicht im Dunkeln" no English, German only

31. "Die Tote aus der Themse" English sound, English subtitles

32. "Das Geheimnis der grünen Stecknadel" international english version as bonus film with ita&eng soundtrack

33. "Das Rätsel des silbernen Halbmonds" , International version as bonus film with ita&eng soundtrack and english st

34. "Der Fluch der gelben Schlange" only German

All have German audio and German subtitles.

Here are the international titles: Psycho-Circus is not part of the packaage...

Update List of all Krimi Films ranked by German ticket sales III

 I have come across some interesting facts while researching the German Krimis, here are the additions/changes in my LIST (click to see the always updated one)

1. "Im Stahlnetz des Dr. Mabuse" is now in the list, it simply slipped through my fingers.

2. "An einem Freitag um halb zwölf" 

This is about a heist-squad that is about to rob an american army payment truck in Marseilles. A German-Italian-French co-production with a lot of familiar German Krimi faces.

3. "Blutige Seide" 

(Blood and Black Lace), added the alternative german title for Switzerland and Austria "Der Würger mit der Maske" and found out that all 3 "Würger/Strangler"- films were actually (co-)produced by none other than Erwin C. Dietrich who gave us "Ilsa, the wicked warden" and so much more joyful J. Franco (Jack the Ripper) movies.

This is why I marked all 3 "Strangler" films as their own series.

4.  "Schwarzer Markt der Liebe"

came up in my further research on Erwin C. Dietrich, this is the movie that had such a good ROI that he decided to follow that kind of movies instead of producing more krimis. This is borderline roughie sexploitation, but still has enough krimi elements in it to qualify.

5. "Der Zeuge hinter der Wand"

aka "What the peeper saw" is a british-italian-german production that offers nice performances by Hardy Krüger und Lilly Palmer. This is about a proto-Damian-Omen young boy who seduces his stepmother and murders everybody.

Thankfully, we only get an Andrea Bianchi co-direction and co-writing credits, otherwise our deranged italian friend would have gladly gone the whole way. Here the incestous relations is still handled with some kind of inhibition (but tasteless and graphic nonetheless). 

Poor Britt Ekland, what have you got to do to stay in movie business....

 

6. "Das Testament des Schreckens"

this is an obvious cash-in on both mabuse and edgar wallace movies, just look at the title "The Testament of Terror". This one was directed by my all-time favourite voice actor Jürgen Goslar (and helm of numerous sleazeploitation flicks) and stars  Marianne Koch (!!!), Walter Giller, Hans Nielsen, Heinrich Gretler, Grit Böttcher and the director himself. Aka "Liebling, ich muss dich erschießen". This movie still has to be rediscovered physically. It was an austrian production with very limited release.  It is based on the play "Double Cross" by John O'Hara. It was descrbed as "effective but tasteless".... sounds like my krimi.... Obviously truly a lost gem.

7. "Das brennende Gericht"

(The Burning Court) FRA-ITA-GER. Imdb sais: "A group of people visit a weird old man who is a student of the black arts. The man lives in an ancient, cursed castle. Soon people in the group start being killed off."

This takes place in the black forest and was shot there. It is based on a book by Dickinson Carr and seems to be exactly the Agatha Christie type "Gruselkrimi" everybody was enjoying back then.

Yes, well. This seems to be a small effective movie and there are english-language prints and french prints out there (though none of them seem to be in good state). This is highly regarded in some circles, maybe you can catch it on amazon prime. 

8. "Mord am Canale Grande" 

(Mission to Venice) is another James Headley Chase movie and a truly international co-production. It boats Krimi-actress Karin Baal and Hannes Messmer. 

9."Heisse Ware" 

This 1959 potboiler about smugglers and seedy nightclubs has yet to resurface. I don't know if anyone who has voted for it on IMDB has actually seen it, but it has got an incredibly high 8.6 score!!!

1985 Grindhouse Nights in Munich's Stachus Kinocenter PART III: 9th Nov

1. How Sleep the Brave (UK 1982)

Kino 1 22:30  Dschungel der Apokalypse (Djungle of the Apocalypse)

So I entered here. The movie was quiet prominently advertised when it came out, so I was surprised to see it here and was happy about the bargain I got, seeing it with a bunch of other movies. Well it's about american soldiers in vietnam and one by one they die on perilous missions. I was bored. Oh so bored. OK my young mind had only seen war movies in TV and of course Apocalypse now. This one here had been hailed as very brutal and tense. There is nothing like that here. A year later, hen they had a VHS network system going on my nightshift job and the collegues would throw in the cheapest movies to rent, this one would come up quite regularly and everytime I switched of an grabbed a book... Maybe I thought it was "Jäger der Apokalypse".... a completely different movie.... 

Verdict: The worst verdict: Mediocre!

2. Vengeance Is a Dish Served Cold (ITA 1972)

Kino 1 00:15 Drei Amen für den Satan  (Three Amen for the Satan)

So here we enter Spaghetti Western (or as the german would say: Italo-Western) territory. Sadly with one of the last and least.You got Ivan Rassimov as nameless stranger stand-in and a bit of Kinski I think, but this has no soul and no reason to exist. I did not like it. No.

Verdict: Cheap, lame and even Kinski is desinterested.

3. Safari Rally

)

Kino 1 00:15 Rallye des Todes (Rally of Death)

Ohh, we have "Little Joe never once gave it away" Joe Dallesandro here fighting for love and against his brother to win the trophy of an african rally. "6000 km of Fear" is the original title. I'd rather go with 80 minutes of boredom. Nice cars, the plot is bad, the stunts are ridiculous. A complete miss. Not even bad enough.

Verdict: A complete miss.

4. Savana Violenta (ITA 1977)

Kino 2 22:15 Mondo Diavolo (Diablocal World)

This comes in at the chronological and financial tail-end of the Mondo Movies. To my knowledge it did not get an english release. But fear not, you have missed nothing. This is worse than the average TV-documentary on tribal live at that time. And I had been soooo excited.... my first MONDO MOVIE. But the only extreme scene I remember was a man splitting his tongue (snake-like) in half in an act of body modification. Well then. You've been warned. On the right side you see the original theatrical german film poster. I mean look at it, this is actually better than the movie. Believe me.

Verdict: The only thing that was tortured here was the film stock.

5. Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (USA 1976)

Kino 2 23:15 Ilsa, die Haremswächterin der Scheichs

Do I need to tell about this one. Do I need to tell you what this movie does to a young impressionable brain like mine?? No. I don't think so. Until then, I did not think that I could be entertained by something like THIS. Obviously (for good reasons), Ilsa's first adventures in Poland are completely banned here in Germany. But when she does the same thing for the "evil" arabs, it's obvously ok.  BTW, although "Ilsa, She-Wolf...." was nott shown in Germany a german-language version as "Ilsa, die Hündin von Liebeslager 7" (The bitch of lovecamp 7) ran very successfully in Switzerland where our neutral neighbours  obviously  ware highly interested to find out what exactly had been going on in Germany in WWII. The first two movies made enough money for smut-peddler E.C. Dietrich to make his own (semi-official) sequel...

VERDICT: Never had seen so much silkone in one movie before!!!

6. Ilsa, Tigress of Siberia (CAN 1977)

Kino 2 00:45  Ilsa, die Tigerin

Ilsa is back in her natural habitat (WIP-CAMP) for the last time and it's for the Russkis in a Gulag, proving that capable employees are hard to find and that HRM sometimes does work and that she ALWAYS is a sight to behold. But sadly, instead of a rehash of 1 and 2 (which would be perfectly ok), we get a stupid James Bond video-surveillance plot. This is so boring. I was sure then that the version I saw must have been heavily cut. I mean, it had to be, hadn't it? But no, the unuct versions I later saw are basically as shitty as the one I wittnessed. Skip it and go for installment 3 (Greta/Ilsa, the wicked warden) instead, where Jess Franco, eager to re-establish his mastership in seedy WIP films will bury her six feet deep in an unnamed south-american jungle. 

VERDICT: Completely and utterly worthless (in a bad way)

7. Tiger Jungle (aka Black Belt Fury) (TW 1976)

Kino 3: 22:00 Die Pranke des gelben Tigers (The Prangs of the Yellow Tiger)

No-one knows this taiwanese Kung-Fu movie. Wonder why. Way back then I did not care much for Kung-Fu films so I did not bother myself with going into Kino 3. Given the artwork and what little I found on this film I still don't care.


Verdict: As somebody in IMDB wrote: "For Wen Chiang Lung's (ed: the director) completists only, if there are any."

8. The Cobra (HK 1981)

Kino 3: 23:30 Im Würgegriff der Roten Cobra (In the Stranglehold of the Red Cobra) Interestingly there is the similarly titled "In the Stranglehold of the Yellow Snake" - with both "The Red Cobra" and "The Yellow Snake" being German Krimis from the 1960s.

The usual tale of a kung-fu guy who witnesses the killing of his dojomaster by the Red Cobra gang, flees with his wife somewhere else (rescuing master's little daughter) and gets in trouble with a local gang. Exactly. The Red Cobra. He goes rampage and we got a boss-fight between him and the killer of his master. Run-of the mill potboiler who shows some nerve depicting violence against women and small children and being basically carefree about, well, klling other people. I've been not able to watch this movie, as it is still banned in Germany (and was at that time!!).  And there is, to my knowledge no international version out there. 

9. Dance of the Drunk Mantis (HK 1979)

Kino 4: 01:15 Der Knochenbrecher schlägt wieder zu (The Bonebreaker strikes again)

German Dub Version: In the epic struggle between the "North" and the "South" about which style of fighting is the right one, thing get a little bit out of hand. There is only one guy who can re-establish order: The Drunken Master. English Dub Version: Returning after training Freddy Wong, the Drunk Master is attacked by the newly-adopted son of his wife. You decide.

It is sequel time for "Drunken Master", but without Jackie Chan and without huge box-office results. A rather dull affair, that actually ends in a cliff-hanger!!

Verdict: Half as much fun than with Jacky Chan.

10. Sex Rally (FR 1974)

Kino 4: 22:00 Grand Prix im Bett (Grand Prix in the Bed)/ Le Rallye des joyeus (The Rally of Pleasures)

This is a completeley forgettable very softcore sex comedy, made cheaply by the french. It is neither funny nor sexy nor are there any sights male/female/landscape/cars to see. Well of course it is about some count who puts out a price money for the winner of a rally. The teams try to fool each other and of course more of the times the find themselves in spicy situations. Skin time is very, very rare in this movie, basically cheating us and it is obvous that the talent of everyone in this movie is very limited to nonexistent.

I fast forwarded through the print that I could find, thankful that I had not wasted any of my pretious youth on that one.

Verdict: Utter rubbish in every regard.

11. Eros in the Office or Office Girls or Office Sex or Sex in the Office (GER 1971)

Kino 4: 00:30 Erotik im Beruf (Eroticism at Work)

 

1971 must have been THE year for director Ernst Hofebauer. Riding on the success of his first "Schoolgirl Report" the previous year, he directed no less than 5 valuable time-capsules of life in Germany in the 70is. And this is all true. I know. I've been there. I' So after "Schoolgirl Report 2" we get "Vacation Report (what the travel guides do not tell us)" and "Girls at the Gynaecologist", "The new hot report: what men cannot believe" and of course this documentary about "Eroticism on the Job (what the HRM does not tell us)". Just to give you some information. ALL of these films made twice to ten times more money on the german box office than Argento's most successful film "The Cat o' Nine Tails" ---. In typical Mondo-Style... .eh.... Report Style, actual scenes and interviews are cut together with staged sex scenes. Hofebauer claims to have interviewed actual politicians and union members for this movie, which was the lowest-grossing of his 71 output. And it shows. Much less entertaining than "Girls at the Gynaecologist". Really. 

Verdict: It made twice as much money as "cat". So what do you expect? (hey, that's a BAR)

12. Insatiable Alicia and the Marquis (SPAIN??? SWISS??? FRANCE?????? 1983)

Kino 4: 02:00 El marques, la menor y el travesti (The Marquis, the Minor and the Transvestite)/ Ein Sommer voller Liebe (A Summer full of Love)

Man, researching this one was really hard. I had to dive into the archives of the official swiss cinematheque to verify that it is the movie that I watched. "Summer full of Love" ain't "Summer full of Vice/A debauched Sumer" made by the same guy in the same year and it ain't "A Summer in the Country" made by the same production company with Brigitte Lahaie (who, btw. is still wating for her lifetime-achievement Academy Award). Linking them together is the obscure spaniard Jaime Jesús Balcázar who started off writing "The Castle of Dr. Fu Manchu" and then went all in for EC Dietrichs swiss ELITE-FILMs. You know now where this goes. I am very sure that if I watch all three movies in a row, the story, the house and most of actors will be the same. A yes, it's about some burgoise on vacation doing it with their slaves... eh servants ... maids... eh.. .butlers.. .. you know. I'm pretty sure the house belongs to one of the producers, he got paid, money has been laundered. It's a quiet life in the country. ... sadly it's 1983, so we cannot expect 2 Jess Franco films made on the same set too.... what a shame. It's actually softcore. Though I won't guarantee that there isn't a hc version out there somewhere too.

Main actress Choncha Valero looks strikingly special and is in her prime. She had previously starred in those great spanish opii "A Virgin for Caligula" and "Depravity" - and I do not make these titles up.  

Verdict: Films made for oblivion.

1985 Grindhouse Nights in Munich's Stachus Kinocenter PART II: 26th Oct

Djan

That was my first time at the long night. I had been to that cinema as they were the only ones showing "Nightmare on Elm Street" in Munich in it's first week, first run. It was not considered a success. I actually left early to get the last train home and I was not bothered. I did not like it. Sorry. But I grabbed the flyer lying around for the "Long Night" and as I had always been interested in Horror Films I decided to give it a go.

So here are my 12 inaugural movies:

1. The Moment to Kill (ITA/GER 1968)

Cinema 1, 22:30 Django – Ein Sarg voll Blut   Il momento di uccidere

The moment Django!!! and his BUDDY !!!! come riding into town, you know you've been f...d. I mean, a buddy for Django, the one man who only loves his machine gun??? Ok, the german distributors obviously found it profitable to call every Spaghetti-flick Django. This is actually a GER/ITA coproduction, so they could do whatever they liked, right.

This is not a bad one and I liked it. They have to get back some money for the sherrif and it has a distinct KRIMI feel to it. 

Verdict: Odd but likable

2. Django kills softly/silently (ITA 1968)

Cinema 1,  00:15 Django tötet (leise)

This is a sloppy affair. Nothing rings a bell here. I remember that 19 year old me thought "well this is not good". And indeed, tried to rewatch it, it's about a trek and a bandid and some gangs. Whatever. I fast-forwarded.

Verdict: Skppit

3. A Few Dollars for Django (ITA 1968)

Cinema 1, 01:45 Django kennt kein Erbarmen Originaltitel Pochi Dollari per Django

Enzo Castellari & Leon Klimovski team up (how odd) to bring us this moral tale of headhunter Django impesonating all the Magnificent 7 at once. Did not watch it then but there is a fine german-dubbed print on YT. Not bad, not bad at all

Verdict: Solid

4. French Sex Murders (Fr 1972)

Cinema 2: 22:15 Das Auge des Bösen  Originaltitel Casa d'appuntamento

Apart from me witnessing the marvellous "Tenebrae" uncut in a cinema a year before, this was my first exposure to the Giallo. And I was very unimpressed. Some guys walking around Paris in the fog and killing women. This does not look pretty or stylish and actually I did not get the plot at all then. The only memorable scene was the squishing of a cow's eyeball, obviously a real one. Up until now I was fairly convinced  that I had watched a Jess Franco movie as it was so random. When I checked the databases I could not remember any of the plot and was actually convinced I had seen another film. But retrieving the original german movie poster I recognised the one I saw in the lobby.

Verdict: Only if you want to see the eyeball of  cow being squished...

5. I drink your Blood (USA 1970)

Cinema 2: 23:45 Die Satansbande / Die Tollwütigen

People in the woods do stupid stuff and turn into Zombies. As I remember they are not actually zombies but rabid. Anyway. This is very slow but entertaining. In the end some of them drop their clothing and walk naked through the woods. A chubby blonde MILF is something I really remember from this movie. Two years later I actually rented it on VHS, only to be bitterly disapointed. It was actually pretty bad. Still undecided if I give it a third go.

Verdict: Eh? Whatever!

6. Caged Fury (USA 1983)

Cinema 2: 01:30 Camp der verlorenen Frauen 

Yes, the WIP Cinema was huge, but not any more in 1983, so the american producers decided to put some Rambo in it (and let's be honest, isn't Rambo MIP??). Swiss money laundring machine EC. Dietrich had badass "Hubert Frank" stand in for Jess Franco to direct the opus "Triangle of Lust" in 1978 and obviously made good money from it. That film was called "Teufelscamp der verlorenen Frauen" (Devil's camp of the lost women). Why distributor Ascot decided to name this unrelated flick "Camp der  verlorenen Frauen" (Camp of the Lost women) is  beyond me. (Maybe they did it just to confuse me while I was researching it 40 yrs later). The shabby railway-station cinemas had mostly been shut down due to the avialability of VCRs, so who would go and watch this movie. Whatever. This IS entartaining and producation value is 10 times higher than its german/swiss predecessor (but 100 times lower than a decent movie). Titties out in the POW camp.

Verdict: GEM

7.  A Fistful of Dragon/Steel-fisted Dragon (Indonesia 1977)

Cinema 3: 22:00 Die gnadenlosen Fäuste DES Kung-Fu

Starring: STEVE LEE (!), JOHNNY KOKONG (!!), JOHNNY HONG KONG (!!!!). Well according to what little I could find about this movie, I obviously missed out while I was deliriuosly watching eyeballs being squished. So I ordered a good German uncut DVD and watched it. It is entertaining enough and the subplot about women being shipped to europe for prostitution comes right out of the J. Franco handbook of sleaziness. 

On the success of Terminator, this movie did a short rerelease run as "The yellow Terminator". My goodness. And of course Steven Lee is the little brother of Bruce, according to one film poster.

Verdict: Revisit Obligatory.

10. Shaolin Invincibles (HK 1977)

Cinema 3: 23:30 Das tödliche Duell der Shaolin

Well, you know the emperor killed the whole family of good old kung-fu fighters, now bro and sis fighter are back for vengeance. To make it all more worthwile (it is the end of HKMA in 1977) Producers tried to spice it up by letting them fight Gorillas (Men in Costumes) and Hunchbacks. I remember entering this particular movie when Sis was fighting her opponent in what appears to be a excavation pit. I was not impressed by the eleborate settings. So I missed the next one - which is now the biggest mistake I made in my movie-going career. And only this shitty movie is to blame. 

Rewatched it and it was not bad. Not bad. But Gorilla Costumes...

Verdict: You ruined my life. Get away.

9. ZERO WOMAN: RED HANDCUFFS (J 1974)

Cinema 3: 01:15 Der Tiger von Osaka

Well, there is no excuse. And I feel really bad about this now. By writing  this report I found out to have missed this movie while I was doing my research on the european sleaze in Kino 1 and 4. I am guilty. So here we have is the first installment of  Toei's pinky series ZERO WOMAN. This is a big one, at that time actually BANNED in Germany....And I could have seen the movie on the big screen with a HEINER BRAND scripted dub (germanos will exactly know what I'm talking aboout: To the others: When Brand did a dub he actually improved on the movie, putting in lines that never were there on the original soundtrack. This makes for a very surreal viewing experience esp. for sleaze movies) I never knew this existed. I so want this now.

Verdict: Target set. Der Tiger von Osaka.

10. Sex 'o' Clock U.S.A. (USA 1976)

Cinema 4: 23:00 Sex 'o' Clock U.S.A.  

French documentary filmer Francois Reichenbach goes all in Mondo-Style on the perversions of the american society. Of course the sexual revolution was responsible for all this filth and he is happy to show it. Let there be Dungeons. I actually was not bothered. Sorry. 

Title song is a cool disco bump thing called "Baby Come On" -- (whom?)

I am not able to review this thing as there is no way to get it... can anyone help?

Verdict: Granddaddy Hippy Joe maybe wants to relive old memories, me not. Pass.

11. A bout de Sexe (F 1975)

Cinema 4: 00:30 Wilde Mädchen, heiße Spiele 

Another classic French erotic move. This time about about two plumbers who meet women on the cote d azur. Did I mention that once you've seen one, you've seen them all... but does it bother you??

"Wilde Mädchen, Heisse Spiele"= "Wild Girls, hot Games" and should not be confused with 

a) Hot Games, Wild Girls = 50 briques pour Jo (F 1970)

b) Hot Games = Ann and Eve (Sweden 1970)

Verdict: Service as usual-Try a) and b) instead, they are both much more fun!

12. Swinging Wives (GER 1971/1981)

Cinema 4: 02:00 Flotte Bienen und wilder Honig / Der neue heiße Sex Report

In 1971 Ernst Hofebauer had struck gold with his Schoolgirl-Reports and quickly produced dozens of Reports. This one was originally called "The new hot Sex-Report - what men deem impossible".or "Teenagers out of bounds". Ah yes.

So why actually this ten-year-old movie was rereleased under this new title here is (nearly) completely beyond me. They did not even change the movie poster !!! (well, you know that 10 years is exactly the statue of limitations for tax crimes... just saying....).

I have different memories, but those films tend to blur after a while, so the french one I thought to have seen that night is "Ein Sommer voller Liebe" which I will discuss in the next episode.

Verdict: A Report is a Report is a Report. But this one is decidedly below par.

1985 Grindhouse Nights in Munich's Stachus Kinocenter PART I: 16th Nov

This is my personal grindhouse experience. Living in Munich in 1985/86 I was privileged to find out that in the run-down Stachus Kinocenter with its 4 movie theaters, they would hold "long nights", grinding down the most worn-out prints of whatever movie they had lying around (and Munich was one of the capital of European trash cinema). So I went there and spent the nights between hobos and whores, junkies and middle-aged men in trenchcoats. They started at 10 pm and went on till 4 a.m. providing more than one customer with a fairly cheap place to stay. It was 12 DM (around 4 US-$ that time) for 12 movies. So I sat down and watched them all, uncut. Usually I swapped theatres if one movie was too bad. 

So here are all 12 of them, that I was able to see:

1. Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw (USA 1976)

Cinema 1, 22:30 Todesduell auf dem Highway 

It's Wonder Woman Lynda Carter making every schoolboy's dream come true to star in this skin-n-crime flick about a country star wannebee who winds up in a Bonnie and Clyde situation. 

Verdict: GEM

2. She (USA 1984)

Cinema 1,  00:15 S.H.E. eine verrückte Reise in die Zukunft

What have we got here. This is actually a new movie, going straight to the gutter. This must have bombed terribly. Today, this must be b-movie heaven. Red Sonya's Sandahl Bergmann going all in in a very, very bad movie. Problem is, the producers actually thought it was good and gave it a big-time treatment. This ended soon here in this run-down theatre in front of a lot of people who could not care less. 

Verdict: GEM

3. Deadline Auto Theft (USA 1974-83)

Cinema 1, 01:45 Auf dem Higway spielt die Polizei verrückt

Rehash of the 1974 movie "Gone in 60 Seconds" about the cat-and-mouse game between an LAPD Officer and a serial car thief. Emulating Jess Franco, the director used the best (and most expensive) scenes of the first movie and shot some new material around it. Who can blame him. 

Verdict: GEM

Let's switch to Cinema 2, where they start off the evening with.... tata:

4. Man-Eater / Grim Reaper / Anthropophagus I (Italy 1980)

Cinema 2: 22:15 Man-Eater, der Menschenfresser

Yes, there it is. I saw it. On the big screen. It acutally was big and actually a lot of people came in to watch it. It was uncut. I was there. Oh man. 

All of those complaining about the film did not see it in a cinema. I was actually scared and I thought it was a pretty well made movie. Maybe it was my young, impressible mind, but I still hold that movie in high regard. I never watched it again though. It could only become worse. I did see the Andreas Schnaas remake. That was bad.

Vertict: ALL TIME CLASSIC

5. Death Force (USA 1978)

Cinema 2: 23:45 Ein Mann wird zu Killer

I did not have to look it up as I still remember that film. It's about a vietnam vet who shoots off heads with his shotgun when the local incestbreed back in good old bible-belt mob him (or was it the mafia and he owed them money???). Always tried to get it in the very memorable german dub, but obviously this market is far too niche (like!!).

Verdict: SOLID and up for a rewatch before I die.

addendum: Now I watched the original trailer and I am very sure that this is not the movie  I saw. .... I have to dive into this. Maybe they switched films without notice... hmmmm.

6. The Retrievers (USA 1982)

Cinema 2: 01:30 Zum Töten abgerichtet

With a german title going: "Conditioned like dogs to Kill", one would  have expected more. I have 0 remembrence of this film. And even the IMDB is not very helpful. It's about a guy who joins some kind of special forces and kills targets. eh?  

Verdict: USELESS

Time to hop over to Cinema 3 where they reuse the old Hongkong MA Films for their really, really final run (the copies were actually VERY bad!)

7.  The 18 Bronzemen (HK 1975)

Cinema 3: 22:00 18 Kämpfer aus Bronze

Nowadays looked upon as some kind of semi-classic, but honestly, I could not care less. The usual stuff with fake beards and fake fights. 

Verdict: Forgettable

8. The Return of the 18 Bronzemen (HK 1976)

Cinema 3: 23:30 Die Rückkehr der 18 Bronzekämpfer

More of the same, this time even cheaper. They did not even try to look as if they cared! But cudos to the curator of this exquisit evening, you got all 3 installments (of the same movie....) in their correct order.

VERDICT: Even more forgettabel remake of a forgettable Film

9. Wan fa gui zong yi Shao Lin (HK 1976) 

Cinema 3: 01:15 Das Erbe der 18 Bronzekämpfer (The Heritage of the 18 Bronzemen)

The German movie poster reads: "After the unreachable successes of .. 7. 8. .. a new highlight". Eh well, not. Really. I really sat through them all here again to find out what I've been missing. But not a lot. I felt cheated. 

VERDICT: Three out of three are bad.

Let's see what wonderful fare they offer us in the cosy cinema 4:

10. Les Plaisiers Solitaires (F 1976)

Cinema 4: 23:00 Das Erste Öffnen Junger Lippen

What a way to start of the evening in Cinema 4. While I was in CIN2, enjoying Joe's classic tale of what not to do on a lonely island, here you get an absolute classic French Porn Movie directed by all-time best director Francis Leroi. It's about 3 women experiencing frustrating sexual encounters with men before they decide that sisters can do it with themselves. The German release comes close to being a fraud: The title translates as "The first blossoming of young lips". There are NO young lips here and I sincerely doubt that it is the first opening of those lips on screen. Naah, can't fool me, canya! Besides this the film poster depicts Goddess Christina Lindberg (of Thriller) who maybe saw a filmroll of this movie stacked up in a van going candidly over the alsacian border between France and Germany (I try to establish a connection here... see?), but is NOT in this movie. 

VERDICT: If you've seen one, you've seen all. But do we care?

 

11. Fascination (USA 1980)

Cinema 4: 00:30 Schüchtern aber scharf wie Oskar

Ron Jeremy, Candida Royalle,  Veronica Hart, Sharon Mitchell, shall I say more. This is actually a GOOD movie with the added value of having the best stars of 70ies adult movies on top of their game.

I stumbled late into it as I had watched 5) to the end and then tried myself on the 18 Bronzemen. But this really blew me away. With both hands cuffed behind my back I recently rewatched it. This is a good movie. 

I really tried hard to get the german movie poster, but failed...

Verdict: GEM

12. The Beautiful Girl Hunter (J 1979)

Cinema 4: 02:00 Exzesse im Folterkeller

Well it was late, I was tired, didn't want to go home, so I just kept sitting in Cinema4 and had NO IDEA  what to expect. Boy oh Boy. 

This very sick japanese movie about the sideeffects of being raped by one's father during boyhood and developing a very unhealthy fascintaion for the holocaust (that actually was cut out of this movie in Germany !!!) is seen to be believed. 

I was actually annoyed by the constant black bars hiding what I wanted to see, but nevertheless my eyes were glued to the screen. The movie was so worn out that it looked like something out of "Emanuelle in America". and could have passed as "snuff"(thanks for censorship!!) I do remember it vividly and I know it is a classic. But I refuse to watch it again a) for the bars and b) I don't want to ruin my memories.... 

Verdict: SPEECHLESS

So here it is. See you next time.