DjanSo here are my 12 inaugural movies:
1. The Moment to Kill (ITA/GER 1968)
The moment Django!!! and his BUDDY !!!! come riding into town, you know you've been f...d. I mean, a buddy for Django, the one man who only loves his machine gun??? Ok, the german distributors obviously found it profitable to call every Spaghetti-flick Django. This is actually a GER/ITA coproduction, so they could do whatever they liked, right.
This is not a bad one and I liked it. They have to get back some money for the sherrif and it has a distinct KRIMI feel to it.
Verdict: Odd but likable
2. Django kills softly/silently (ITA 1968)
This is a sloppy affair. Nothing rings a bell here. I remember that 19 year old me thought "well this is not good". And indeed, tried to rewatch it, it's about a trek and a bandid and some gangs. Whatever. I fast-forwarded.
Verdict: Skppit
3. A Few Dollars for Django (ITA 1968)
Cinema 1, 01:45 Django kennt kein Erbarmen Originaltitel Pochi Dollari per Django
Enzo Castellari & Leon Klimovski team up (how odd) to bring us this moral tale of headhunter Django impesonating all the Magnificent 7 at once. Did not watch it then but there is a fine german-dubbed print on YT. Not bad, not bad at all
Verdict: Solid
4. French Sex Murders (Fr 1972)
Cinema 2: 22:15 Das Auge des Bösen Originaltitel Casa d'appuntamento
Apart from me witnessing the marvellous "Tenebrae" uncut in a cinema a year before, this was my first exposure to the Giallo. And I was very unimpressed. Some guys walking around Paris in the fog and killing women. This does not look pretty or stylish and actually I did not get the plot at all then. The only memorable scene was the squishing of a cow's eyeball, obviously a real one. Up until now I was fairly convinced that I had watched a Jess Franco movie as it was so random. When I checked the databases I could not remember any of the plot and was actually convinced I had seen another film. But retrieving the original german movie poster I recognised the one I saw in the lobby.
Verdict: Only if you want to see the eyeball of cow being squished...
5. I drink your Blood (USA 1970)
Cinema 2: 23:45 Die Satansbande / Die Tollwütigen
People in the woods do stupid stuff and turn into Zombies. As I remember they are not actually zombies but rabid. Anyway. This is very slow but entertaining. In the end some of them drop their clothing and walk naked through the woods. A chubby blonde MILF is something I really remember from this movie. Two years later I actually rented it on VHS, only to be bitterly disapointed. It was actually pretty bad. Still undecided if I give it a third go.
Verdict: Eh? Whatever!
6. Caged Fury (USA 1983)
Cinema 2: 01:30 Camp der verlorenen Frauen
Yes, the WIP Cinema was huge, but not any more in 1983, so the american producers decided to put some Rambo in it (and let's be honest, isn't Rambo MIP??). Swiss money laundring machine EC. Dietrich had badass "Hubert Frank" stand in for Jess Franco to direct the opus "Triangle of Lust" in 1978 and obviously made good money from it. That film was called "Teufelscamp der verlorenen Frauen" (Devil's camp of the lost women). Why distributor Ascot decided to name this unrelated flick "Camp der verlorenen Frauen" (Camp of the Lost women) is beyond me. (Maybe they did it just to confuse me while I was researching it 40 yrs later). The shabby railway-station cinemas had mostly been shut down due to the avialability of VCRs, so who would go and watch this movie. Whatever. This IS entartaining and producation value is 10 times higher than its german/swiss predecessor (but 100 times lower than a decent movie). Titties out in the POW camp.Verdict: GEM
7. A Fistful of Dragon/Steel-fisted Dragon (Indonesia 1977)
Cinema 3: 22:00 Die gnadenlosen Fäuste DES Kung-Fu
Starring: STEVE LEE (!), JOHNNY KOKONG (!!), JOHNNY HONG KONG (!!!!). Well according to what little I could find about this movie, I obviously missed out while I was deliriuosly watching eyeballs being squished. So I ordered a good German uncut DVD and watched it. It is entertaining enough and the subplot about women being shipped to europe for prostitution comes right out of the J. Franco handbook of sleaziness.
On the success of Terminator, this movie did a short rerelease run as "The yellow Terminator". My goodness. And of course Steven Lee is the little brother of Bruce, according to one film poster.
Verdict: Revisit Obligatory.
10. Shaolin Invincibles (HK 1977)
Cinema 3: 23:30 Das tödliche Duell der Shaolin
Well, you know the emperor killed the whole family of good old kung-fu fighters, now bro and sis fighter are back for vengeance. To make it all more worthwile (it is the end of HKMA in 1977) Producers tried to spice it up by letting them fight Gorillas (Men in Costumes) and Hunchbacks. I remember entering this particular movie when Sis was fighting her opponent in what appears to be a excavation pit. I was not impressed by the eleborate settings. So I missed the next one - which is now the biggest mistake I made in my movie-going career. And only this shitty movie is to blame.
Rewatched it and it was not bad. Not bad. But Gorilla Costumes...
Verdict: You ruined my life. Get away.
9. ZERO WOMAN: RED HANDCUFFS (J 1974)
Cinema 3: 01:15 Der Tiger von Osaka
Well, there is no excuse. And I feel really bad about this now. By writing this report I found out to have missed this movie while I was doing my research on the european sleaze in Kino 1 and 4. I am guilty. So here we have is the first installment of Toei's pinky series ZERO WOMAN. This is a big one, at that time actually BANNED in Germany....And I could have seen the movie on the big screen with a HEINER BRAND scripted dub (germanos will exactly know what I'm talking aboout: To the others: When Brand did a dub he actually improved on the movie, putting in lines that never were there on the original soundtrack. This makes for a very surreal viewing experience esp. for sleaze movies) I never knew this existed. I so want this now.
Verdict: Target set. Der Tiger von Osaka.
10. Sex 'o' Clock U.S.A. (USA 1976)
Cinema 4: 23:00 Sex 'o' Clock U.S.A.
French documentary filmer Francois Reichenbach goes all in Mondo-Style on the perversions of the american society. Of course the sexual revolution was responsible for all this filth and he is happy to show it. Let there be Dungeons. I actually was not bothered. Sorry.
Title song is a cool disco bump thing called "Baby Come On" -- (whom?)
I am not able to review this thing as there is no way to get it... can anyone help?
Verdict: Granddaddy Hippy Joe maybe wants to relive old memories, me not. Pass.
11. A bout de Sexe (F 1975)
Cinema 4: 00:30 Wilde Mädchen, heiße Spiele
Another classic French erotic move. This time about about two plumbers who meet women on the cote d azur. Did I mention that once you've seen one, you've seen them all... but does it bother you??
"Wilde Mädchen, Heisse Spiele"= "Wild Girls, hot Games" and should not be confused with
a) Hot Games, Wild Girls = 50 briques pour Jo (F 1970)
b) Hot Games = Ann and Eve (Sweden 1970)
Verdict: Service as usual-Try a) and b) instead, they are both much more fun!
12. Swinging Wives (GER 1971/1981)
Cinema 4: 02:00 Flotte Bienen und wilder Honig / Der neue heiße Sex Report
In 1971 Ernst Hofebauer had struck gold with his Schoolgirl-Reports and quickly produced dozens of Reports. This one was originally called "The new hot Sex-Report - what men deem impossible".or "Teenagers out of bounds". Ah yes.
So why actually this ten-year-old movie was rereleased under this new title here is (nearly) completely beyond me. They did not even change the movie poster !!! (well, you know that 10 years is exactly the statue of limitations for tax crimes... just saying....).
I have different memories, but those films tend to blur after a while, so the french one I thought to have seen that night is "Ein Sommer voller Liebe" which I will discuss in the next episode.
Verdict: A Report is a Report is a Report. But this one is decidedly below par.
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