Jess Franco, the walking death of Eurocrime (Part I): The Case of Lemmy Caution

Why has not anybody noticed that? While working my way through the mess that was the german krimi death in 1972, I found it to be strange that the last screened Dr. Mabuse AND the last screened Edgar Wallace Krimi AND the last in Germany produced Bryan Edgar Wallace movie were all directed by Jess Franco. Well, I thought, they just needed somebody to burn money fast, before Dec. 31st., so let's have Jesus do the jobs for us... but then there were other film-cycles that Jesse closed down unceremoniously. Let's see.

1. The Case of Lemmy Caution

This blog is in english, and Lemmy Caution is an american character, written in a series of british spy-private eye-crime novels and never ever was a film produced on that franchise in english. 

But the french really did like him (as the germans liked Edgar Wallace), so they produced 9-11 movies (however you count them) with Eddie Constantine in the lead role as Lemmy Caution. The reason why it is so hard to tell is that whenever Eddie Constantine's undeniably memorable features appear in a movie, you might think that he's Lemmy Caution, even if he does not bear the name.

This was a highly successful series starting in 1953 with "The Poison Ivy" which centers, obviously around a femme fatale. These are highly enjoyable and well-produced crime flicks, trespassing into spy territory as James Bond got famous. 

It is actually here, where Jess Franco's involvement into the Lemmy Caution story starts: Starting in the spanish film-industry he claims (there is no proof than his own "recolections") that he supervised the spanish dubbing for exactly that first Lemmy Caution film.

In 1963, Constantine decided to go "serious" and could only be persuaded to return for a serious, meaningful movie with Lemmy. Well, here we have Jean-Luc-Goddard, the french auteur,non-conformist artiste who worked on miniscule budgets but highly intelligent films (Weekend, someone!??). He offered Constantine to play Lemmy Caution once more this time for the SF-Movie "Lemmy Caution vs. Alphaville", which is a highly effective and evocative peace about truth and deception, willfullness and desperation. I strongly advise anyone to watch this movie. 

Everybody was happy. Goddard got some good reviews and box-office and Constantine played and was accepted in a "serious" movie.

Why not try this again with  another SF/Lemmy Caution movie, directed by an artist, auteur, non-conformist, who worked on miniscule budgets. But -eh- ----- ---- this time he chose Jess Franco.

Case opened: "Cards on the Table" (1966)

So here we have Eddie Constantine playing "Al Perreira" (Franco's X variable whenever he needed a private  eye) but basically it's Lemmy Caution all over again. And everybody knew. 

The plot: A mad scientist uses his army of mechanical monsters to thought-control people with rhesus factor 0. Hm. Where have I heard THAT before? (and after -- see Dr. M!). 

This is more eurospy than anything else, but then, the Lemmy Caution movies were eurospy.

Is it any good? Well, surprisingly this is the rare movie that will please Lemmy Caution, Jess Franco, Eurospy and the average movie goer alike (eh, that's me, here). It is no masterpiece, but it is competently handled, photography on the french blu-ray is crisp and clear (avoid the english releases under "Attack of the Robot Monsters"). This is a very enjoyable movie.

The trailer for the french BD

No, this is certainly no nail in the coffin, so should I dismiss this case? 

Well, a few years later, luck had left scar-faced E. Constantine and he had to fish at the bottom of the barrel for movie roles. And who did he find in cheap Turkey.... exactly... our man. 

Further Investigation: Residencia para espias (Residence for female spies) (1969)

Oh dear. Constantine here plays an US-officer whose job it is to recruit and train female spies in turkey. Jes (sic!), here we are in Franco-wonderland. A bit tame, very silly, but completeley unnecessary for the world outside Francophiles. 

There is actually a (bad) print out there on youtube, so go and watch it for yourself. I really did try to get my hands on a decent release. But there is none. This basically was only shown in Spain and France.

Here, though, Constantine does not play something remotely near Lemmy Caution, so this cannot count as "End of Series".

No, Jess Franco did not kill the "Lemmy Caution" cycle, he was just there to pick up the bones of an already worn-out character and did admirably so. Cartes sur la Table is a strong Franco Film in any way (considering it was shot in 1966). That he came back to rape the corpse in 1969 was unnecessary - but that's what we like about him... don't we? But, to be honest, "Residence" was the last proper Eurospy-film for Constantine who then went to star in some of ultra-low-budget-arthouse-filmauteur Rainer Werner Fassbinder's films. Jean-Luc-Godard directed then the last Lemmy Caution movie "Germany Year 90" giving both (Lemmy and Eddie) a big send-off for his last starring role.

So Jess might not have killed Lemmy Caution, but basically was trying to revive him and gave Eddie Constantine (maybe out of sentimentality) a last chance to play the american agent in 1969.

Verdict: Dismissed by Lack of Evidence. 

"Cartes sur Table" was distributed in the US under the title "Attack of the Robots" by the Landau-Unger Company via AIP, who also distributed the Harry Alan Tower's dullfest "House of 1000 dolls" (total waste of time). AIP was then acquired by the Hollywood-based "Commonwealth United Entertainment Corproation" CUC (see the book "Murderous Passions" by Stephen Thrower for more info on that)  Obviously they liked the ROI on that movie that much that they decided to bring Towers and Franco together, leading to:

Jess Franco versus Dr. Fu Man Chu (Oh, boy!)

The complete Series is HERE

There is a very nice and detailed article on both films on Braineater.com