My personal Top 10 Genre Films

 I've been asked about my personal top 10 genre Films, the ones I've always come back to throughout my life, that I purchased in every format from VHS to dvd, BD, UHD and where I really tried to see them with an audience in a cinema. I do not include the usual suspects, those films that everybody knows, basically all american major studio-productions although of course I did like "Watchmen" very much.

I have included further suggestions if you liked one particular movie. If you got any additional suggestions, please be so kind to leave a comment.

10. Under the Silver Lake 2018 (USA)

Directed by the man that brought you "It follows", this is an ambitious, thought-provoking neo-noir conspiracy-theory thriller dedicated to Alfred Hichcock and Brian De Palma. From the first frame ("Beware of the Dog Killer?) on we get transformed to Vertigo-Land with a heavy dose of Body-Double gore and drifting boy meets girl, loves girl, loses girl. There is so much to see and hear and think about in this very well  made movie that demands repeated viewings. And absolutely rewards them. What happened to the girl? What happened to the celebrity? What's beneath the Silver Lake? Who is the unshaved Owl-Woman super-villain assassin? Why does all music sound alike today? Will Sam keep his flat? And who the Hell is the Dog-Killer - the last question you have to find out yourself using the clues given to you throughout the movie -- yes it's that kind of film.

There are actually numerous feature-length documentaries out there trying to decode the movie (but that would spoil the fun) which tackles the same (and sadly true) topic as "Short Night of the Glass Dolls".

I've shown this to numerous people and they do not get it. To me, this is everything. And a goddamn good movie. And - of course - in the meantime became the subject of a conspiracy theory on it's own. The original soundtrack is phenomenal. btw.

Here's the official trailer: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwgUesU1pz4

Further viewing from here : Body Double, Vertigo, Lodge 49, Short Night of the Glass Dolls

9. Die Hölle-Inferno 2017 (AUSTRIA/GERMANY)

Directed by an oscar-winning austrian guy, this is as much a throwback to the giallo-genre from across

the border as it is a a social study of vienna's immigré society and a poliscetti all in one. Immaculate in direction, design and acting (Tobias Moretti always was one of my favourite actors), the real stand-out is the stellar performance by Violetta Schulawrow who is the toughest stalker-victim you have ever seen. There is very little not to like about this violent, action-packed movie about a manic killer who skins prostitutes (you've been warned!).

Nobody knows this movie, but everybody  -EVERYBODY - is completely on my side after having watched it. Known as "Cold Hell" in Englishspeakingcountry.

The trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBcDdCwRMQQ

Further viewing from here: Das finstere Tal

8. I, Madman 1989 (USA)

Directed by the man who had a minor success with "The Gate" and got enough money to produce this "opus magnum" and who sadly was not given any cash to direct decent things any more from then on. Here, he throws it all at your face. Every nerd's dreamgirl is huge into used pulp fiction novels and stumbles across a novel that makes her investigate the author's life, only to find out that he lives inside the books she's reading as he is investigating her.

Again this film has everything, a very solid 80is direction a likable and hot actress, used booksstores, secret findings in the attic and a killer that is very, very original and very disturbing. The money is well spent on flashbacks to the 1950s (the area the books were written), giving you a welcome feel of nostalgia. 

Sometimes hard to come by, the HD BD transfer is a revelation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CThhGkTY4Y

Further viewing from here: Spider Labyrinth, Dreamscape, 

The Sect, The Caller (Malcom MacDowell)

7. Demons 1985 (ITA)

Directed by the son of the man who inspired my favourite director, this has 1985, Berlin, The Metropol, Punk, Post-Punk, Onibaba, Nostradamus, Movie-in-Movie and so much, oh so much Gore. 

It's like they checked every box I would have put on a wish-list for a good movie. And that it is. It moves at a brisk pace, has a lot of genre inside references (the building, the mask!, the helicopter!!), comments about the Berlin Wall and the cold war situation, ok acting and terrific gore. The  few  musical pieces Claudio Simonetti threw in are perfect and I got them all on the original LP and 12" Maxidisc. 

The story: Preview audience of an obscure 80ies  slasher movie are demonised by a mask? the movie? the movie theatre? a plague? Who knows. Who cares. In the end, they tear this place apart. Like, totally...

The HDR 4K release brought tears to my eyes and endless enjoyment.

And am I the only one who actually wants to see the movie they project in the theatre here? At least a rough-cut of all the existing scenes??? Petition plase. And no: "Graveyard Disturbance" by Lamberto Bava has basically the same plot but being a cheap TV-production comes not even close. The title song, though is a banger and should have been in "Demons".  You can listen to it here. - And yes, they did use it in "Demons 3" aka "The Church".

Avoid the sequel. I mean, avoid it after you've seen the first one. Although it is a solid movie on its own it is just three complete steps down in every department from the original one. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_59ssegTKr4

Further viewing from here: One Cut of the Dead, Blood red Sky

 

6. Raisins de la Mort 1981 (FR)

Directed by the man who filmed this shot: 

Brigitte Lahaye In the night, steaming, with two doberman dogs in midst of a village full of zombies. That's it. You don't need more to convince me that this is a masterpiece for eternity. 

Even Lahaye admits that this is the image everyone will remember her for. To me this came totally unannounced while I watched an obscure movie called "Torture Mill of the Captured Women" (this is how it was called here) as 18-year old in a grindhouse with the copy shown being so worn out that it was an experience on it's own. 

This is of course not about a mill or captured women, more about a vinyard (which of course might have a grape press which might be called a mill in the furthest of all associations - but that does not show up in the movie once!) and crucified women (well there is a sort-of-held-captive woman in a farmhouse... not a mill). And they were killed by men who drank the wine they themselves had polluted with pesticides. This is so socially relevant and politically correct that it should be obligatory to show in all college classes. Petition please. The students will not complain. Maybe their parents, but only because they were not allowed in.

And it is directed by Jean Rollin. This film started my fascination with this little french man. And how worthwile was that!

This movie actually has an ugly look to it that totally captures how these countrysides really look like in autumn. I've been there. So thumbs up for authenticity.

The movie has been ridiculed as a tax-shelter throwaway, lacking the lyricism of Jean Rollin's other movies. But really this is well thought out. The scene described above is direct hommage to Barbara Steele in "La Mascera del Demonio", I bet you did not know that :-)!

Legendary Brigitte (SFW)

Legendary Barbara

Brigitte herself remembers the shooting like this: 

"This legendary night, temperatures were multiple degrees below the freezing point. Thus the camera stopped rolling again and again as the motor could not work the reels anymore..as I was standing there, undressed...and everybody was staring at me so strangely." I bet they were. As was me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z82_93Nh24U

Further viewing from here: All Jean Rollin movies and

The House with  laughing windows

5. Belfegor 1965 (FR)

A french 4-part TV-movie series. Yes. And the eeriest thing ever to be shot on film. I watched it first when I was 6 years old and it scarred me for life. When it first came out on french DVD 30 years later I was virtually shaking to watch it again and still it was so menacing. Since then I showed it to numerous people and all have the same reaction "You were shown this on TV when you were a child??? OMG". It is true and I stand by my word, this is some of the eeriest things you have ever witnessed. So what is it about: Well, guards at the Louvre Museum in Paris are murdered by the Ghost of an ancient Babylonian God. The tension and fear in this stark black and white film is unbearable, even when we get to see "Belfegor" itself. I kid you not. This is an excercise in style and a very, very nice throwback to 60ies culture. Besides this, this is very well written and deals with ancient alchemy, ghosts, books and paperslips in tins. I have no idea how someone in englishlanguagecountry can get a hand on a dubbed or even subbed version, but if you are into 60ies eerie bw movies, this is a must. And being 360 minutes long, you really get the full treatment. 

Lars von Trier has stated that this series inspired him to "Kingdom".

It stars chansonette Juliette Greco, and in lack of a movie poster (it was a TV-series after all), this is the original soundtrack. The serial was released on a near-perfect french dvd and two not-so-perfect german dvd's, all of them without english subs/dubs.

Belfegor was originally filmed in 1927 as a silent 12 chapter serial (which is available in a very good restored version) and was sequelled in the 2000s (both versions are not very good, though). 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXqZo4vgFp8

Further viewing from here: Les Compagnons d'Eleusis, 

Lodge 49, Le Collectionneur des Cerveaux, Kingdom (TV-Series)

4. The Innocents 1961 (UK)

Even older is this movie that is hauntingly beautiful and completely unnerving. It is one of the great classics of the haunted-house genre, but very often overlooked. To the thinking spectator this movie hits like a hammer with his codings on sexuality and morality, constructivism and objectivism. It is a very, very saddening movie that demands repeated viewings to be fully understood. But when, the message hits you even harder. As time goes by, I start to hesitate to watch this movie as it unnerves me too much. Have a nice sleep after that. 

This the best-crafted and polished movie on this list. 

When it was released it was advertised as "the first haunted house movie for adults". Back then "adults" meant "educated" not "copulating". 

If you have not seen it, I won't spoil the movie to you, but the premise is that a female teacher is hired to teach two children, with the boy being far too adolescent for his age.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOsF0S65RR0

Further viewing: The Spiral Staircase, Bunny Lake is missing

3. The Great Silence 1968 (ITA/FRA)

Kinski is the killer/bounty hunter. JL Tritignant is the silent mercenary hired to protect. A snow western. I love snow westerns. I love spaghetti-snow-westerns even more (is there actually another one out there?). And seeing Kinski always gives me the creeps (as it rightfully should - he's testament to the knowledge that if we let freaks entertain us, we should not look too deeply under their surfaces - after all, they are freaks). 

This is one bastard son-of-a-bitch of a movie, nihilistic, brutal. A movie to end all movies. It did not make sense to produce westerns after that one. If you haven't got it by now that this world is an evil place full of evil humans and that the good ones are just sheep ready to be slaughterd, this movie will undeniably prove it to you.

And director Damiano actually calls it: after this movie, there is only silence, numbness and desperation. The silent mercenary, the silence produced by the snow, the silence of the victims, the silence after the last shot was fired and our silence as an audience. This is a deeply political movie.

Essential.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmEz3kdDevA

Further viewing: Death Sentence (Western)

2. The Killer 1989 (HK)

The best movie John Woo has ever directed, this one is so well constructed and choreographed and as I have to sort the movies in this list, this is the one dearest to me. Bro films always enchant me and this is the ultimate one. 

A killer is hired for a hit on a mob-boss but injures the bar singer who loses her eyesight due to his shot. He decides to take care of her but gets entangled in a big-time order his best buddy has arranged for him. The procedure is standard, the design immaculate.

The final shoot-out in the chapel is too beautiful to be believed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdxehm0NxkU

Further viewing: The Man who would be king, Internal Affairs

1. Tenebre 1981 (ITA)

Destiny brought me to this movie and every 2 to 3 years a new edition is published and I have to buy it and watch the movie and everytime I get excited.  I discover new things and to me this is the finest 

a) Argento 

b) Giallo 

c) Genre Film 

ever. When I was 17 I had a stop-over at the main station in K-town. In the bookstore you could get american newspapers and there I discovered a mag called "Fangoria" and I bought it. Man. Full of strange and unknown films and an interview with a man called "Dario Argento". He was talking about his new film and how he used special film material on his movies and so on. A year later the movie premieres at my local cinema right after my 18th birthday. I took the bus for a saturday afternoown showing and sat there with 3 dudes to watch it in uncut glory. I had never seen/heard/witnessed anything like this. Goblin soundtrack, Camera, Gore, Tension, Fear, Sex. Everything was there. And it still is a great movie. 

Ah, the story: Well, american bookauthor comes to Rome to find out his crime-novels murders are being copied in real-life. The script is - if you pay attention - very tightly plotted and everything makes sense in the end. Don't be fooled into "This is a cheap italian slasher film". This is Argento's statement on himself, his art, the media and the audience. The last Argento movie to make it big in Italy (#16 in the Box-Office year-end chart), this is his finest achievement and most personal film. Forget Nicollodi's mumbo-jumbo technicolor fairy tales. This one the the real Argento.

The film was prohibited from being shown on TV in Italy (not because of gore&sex - they do not care there - the descendents of the joyous romans (did you see Caligula btw???)) as one actress became the wife of the italian president.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFGaLrteV9Y

Further viewing: Perfect Blue, Deep Red, Opera, NonHoSonno

Giallo performance in Italy 1964-1982

Here's a list of gialli that made it to the year's end charts (only top 100 were recorded) in Italy. From 1963-1967 no giallo was recorded to be in the top 100.

English-Friendly films of the complete Rialto Blu Ray Edgar Wallace collection

If you do not know already, you can get the german 34 movie "Edgar Wallace Gesamtedition" from Amazon.de ON BLU RAY (the dvd version has the older scans) Region: A, B, C. The scans are top quality (1.-4. 2K 5.-33. 4K!!!) and for the most part english subs and/or soundtrack. You get a bonus DVD and soundtrack CD too. And a booklet with all the original filmposters. The box contains the Giallos "Double Face", "What have they done to Solange",  and "Seven Blood-Stained Orchids", the latter two in both their different EdgarWallace and international versions (and the proto-giallo "Das indische Tuch" as well as "Der Mönch mit der Peitsche" which uses the same script as "Solange" (but with a Monk with a Whip instead of a Machete!!!)). Each BD has at least the original trailer too.

These are not all Edgar Wallace movies produced in Germany in the 60s but basically the most notable ones. For a complete list of all KRIMIS go HERE . For an overview on the different Krimi-franchises (Edgar Wallace, Bryan E. Wallace, L. Weinert-Wilton, Dr. Mabuse, Father Brown, "The Strangler" and the Rialto-produced EW-TV series ) go HERE.

Below is a list of the English-friendly parts of this box. There are other language/sound/sub  options too, so if .anyone knows about dutch, french, italian options, I'd be happy to include them here.

1. "Der Frosch mit der Maske" English sound, English subtitles

2. "Der rote Kreis" English sound, English subtitles

3. "Die Bande des Schreckens" English sound, English subtitles

4. "Der grüne Bogenschütze" no English, German only

5. "Die toten Augen von London" no English, German only

6. "Das Geheimnis der gelben Narzissen" no English, German only

7. "Der Fälscher von London" no English, German only

8. "Die seltsame Gräfin" English sound, English subtitles

9. "Das Rätsel der roten Orchidee" English sound, English subtitles

10. "Die Tür mit den 7 Schlössern" English sound, English subtitles

11. "Das Gasthaus an der Themse" English sound, English subtitles

12. "Der Zinker" English sound, English subtitles

13. "Der schwarze Abt" English sound, English subtitles

14. "Das indische Tuch" English sound, English subtitles

15. "Zimmer 13" English sound, English subtitles

16. "Der Hexer" English sound, English subtitles

17. "Die Gruft mit dem Rätselschloss" English sound, English subtitles

18. "Das Verrätertor" no English, German only

19. "Wartezimmer zum Jenseits" English sound, English subtitles - not an Edgar Wallace Movie but a Alfred Vohrer Krimi nevertheless

20. "Neues vom Hexer" no English, German only

21. "Der unheimliche Mönch" English sound, English subtitles

22. "Der Bucklige von Soho" English sound, English subtitles

23. "Das Geheimnis der weißen Nonne" 'English version as bonus film on the disk

24. "Die blaue Hand" no English, German only

25. "Der Mönch mit der Peitsche" English sound, English subtitles

26. "Der Hund von Blackwood Castle" English sound, English subtitles

27. "Im Banne des Unheimlichen" no English, German only

28. "Der Gorilla von Soho" English sound, English subtitles

29. "Der Mann mit dem Glasauge" English sound, English subtitles

30. "Das Gesicht im Dunkeln" no English, German only

31. "Die Tote aus der Themse" English sound, English subtitles

32. "Das Geheimnis der grünen Stecknadel" international english version as bonus film with ita&eng soundtrack

33. "Das Rätsel des silbernen Halbmonds" , International version as bonus film with ita&eng soundtrack and english st

34. "Der Fluch der gelben Schlange" only German

All have German audio and German subtitles.

Here are the international titles: Psycho-Circus is not part of the packaage...

Update List of all Krimi Films ranked by German ticket sales III

 I have come across some interesting facts while researching the German Krimis, here are the additions/changes in my LIST (click to see the always updated one)

1. "Im Stahlnetz des Dr. Mabuse" is now in the list, it simply slipped through my fingers.

2. "An einem Freitag um halb zwölf" 

This is about a heist-squad that is about to rob an american army payment truck in Marseilles. A German-Italian-French co-production with a lot of familiar German Krimi faces.

3. "Blutige Seide" 

(Blood and Black Lace), added the alternative german title for Switzerland and Austria "Der Würger mit der Maske" and found out that all 3 "Würger/Strangler"- films were actually (co-)produced by none other than Erwin C. Dietrich who gave us "Ilsa, the wicked warden" and so much more joyful J. Franco (Jack the Ripper) movies.

This is why I marked all 3 "Strangler" films as their own series.

4.  "Schwarzer Markt der Liebe"

came up in my further research on Erwin C. Dietrich, this is the movie that had such a good ROI that he decided to follow that kind of movies instead of producing more krimis. This is borderline roughie sexploitation, but still has enough krimi elements in it to qualify.

5. "Der Zeuge hinter der Wand"

aka "What the peeper saw" is a british-italian-german production that offers nice performances by Hardy Krüger und Lilly Palmer. This is about a proto-Damian-Omen young boy who seduces his stepmother and murders everybody.

Thankfully, we only get an Andrea Bianchi co-direction and co-writing credits, otherwise our deranged italian friend would have gladly gone the whole way. Here the incestous relations is still handled with some kind of inhibition (but tasteless and graphic nonetheless). 

Poor Britt Ekland, what have you got to do to stay in movie business....

 

6. "Das Testament des Schreckens"

this is an obvious cash-in on both mabuse and edgar wallace movies, just look at the title "The Testament of Terror". This one was directed by my all-time favourite voice actor Jürgen Goslar (and helm of numerous sleazeploitation flicks) and stars  Marianne Koch (!!!), Walter Giller, Hans Nielsen, Heinrich Gretler, Grit Böttcher and the director himself. Aka "Liebling, ich muss dich erschießen". This movie still has to be rediscovered physically. It was an austrian production with very limited release.  It is based on the play "Double Cross" by John O'Hara. It was descrbed as "effective but tasteless".... sounds like my krimi.... Obviously truly a lost gem.

7. "Das brennende Gericht"

(The Burning Court) FRA-ITA-GER. Imdb sais: "A group of people visit a weird old man who is a student of the black arts. The man lives in an ancient, cursed castle. Soon people in the group start being killed off."

This takes place in the black forest and was shot there. It is based on a book by Dickinson Carr and seems to be exactly the Agatha Christie type "Gruselkrimi" everybody was enjoying back then.

Yes, well. This seems to be a small effective movie and there are english-language prints and french prints out there (though none of them seem to be in good state). This is highly regarded in some circles, maybe you can catch it on amazon prime. 

8. "Mord am Canale Grande" 

(Mission to Venice) is another James Headley Chase movie and a truly international co-production. It boats Krimi-actress Karin Baal and Hannes Messmer. 

9."Heisse Ware" 

This 1959 potboiler about smugglers and seedy nightclubs has yet to resurface. I don't know if anyone who has voted for it on IMDB has actually seen it, but it has got an incredibly high 8.6 score!!!

1985 Grindhouse Nights in Munich's Stachus Kinocenter PART III: 9th Nov

1. How Sleep the Brave (UK 1982)

Kino 1 22:30  Dschungel der Apokalypse (Djungle of the Apocalypse)

So I entered here. The movie was quiet prominently advertised when it came out, so I was surprised to see it here and was happy about the bargain I got, seeing it with a bunch of other movies. Well it's about american soldiers in vietnam and one by one they die on perilous missions. I was bored. Oh so bored. OK my young mind had only seen war movies in TV and of course Apocalypse now. This one here had been hailed as very brutal and tense. There is nothing like that here. A year later, hen they had a VHS network system going on my nightshift job and the collegues would throw in the cheapest movies to rent, this one would come up quite regularly and everytime I switched of an grabbed a book... Maybe I thought it was "Jäger der Apokalypse".... a completely different movie.... 

Verdict: The worst verdict: Mediocre!

2. Vengeance Is a Dish Served Cold (ITA 1972)

Kino 1 00:15 Drei Amen für den Satan  (Three Amen for the Satan)

So here we enter Spaghetti Western (or as the german would say: Italo-Western) territory. Sadly with one of the last and least.You got Ivan Rassimov as nameless stranger stand-in and a bit of Kinski I think, but this has no soul and no reason to exist. I did not like it. No.

Verdict: Cheap, lame and even Kinski is desinterested.

3. Safari Rally

)

Kino 1 00:15 Rallye des Todes (Rally of Death)

Ohh, we have "Little Joe never once gave it away" Joe Dallesandro here fighting for love and against his brother to win the trophy of an african rally. "6000 km of Fear" is the original title. I'd rather go with 80 minutes of boredom. Nice cars, the plot is bad, the stunts are ridiculous. A complete miss. Not even bad enough.

Verdict: A complete miss.

4. Savana Violenta (ITA 1977)

Kino 2 22:15 Mondo Diavolo (Diablocal World)

This comes in at the chronological and financial tail-end of the Mondo Movies. To my knowledge it did not get an english release. But fear not, you have missed nothing. This is worse than the average TV-documentary on tribal live at that time. And I had been soooo excited.... my first MONDO MOVIE. But the only extreme scene I remember was a man splitting his tongue (snake-like) in half in an act of body modification. Well then. You've been warned. On the right side you see the original theatrical german film poster. I mean look at it, this is actually better than the movie. Believe me.

Verdict: The only thing that was tortured here was the film stock.

5. Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (USA 1976)

Kino 2 23:15 Ilsa, die Haremswächterin der Scheichs

Do I need to tell about this one. Do I need to tell you what this movie does to a young impressionable brain like mine?? No. I don't think so. Until then, I did not think that I could be entertained by something like THIS. Obviously (for good reasons), Ilsa's first adventures in Poland are completely banned here in Germany. But when she does the same thing for the "evil" arabs, it's obvously ok.  BTW, although "Ilsa, She-Wolf...." was nott shown in Germany a german-language version as "Ilsa, die Hündin von Liebeslager 7" (The bitch of lovecamp 7) ran very successfully in Switzerland where our neutral neighbours  obviously  ware highly interested to find out what exactly had been going on in Germany in WWII. The first two movies made enough money for smut-peddler E.C. Dietrich to make his own (semi-official) sequel...

VERDICT: Never had seen so much silkone in one movie before!!!

6. Ilsa, Tigress of Siberia (CAN 1977)

Kino 2 00:45  Ilsa, die Tigerin

Ilsa is back in her natural habitat (WIP-CAMP) for the last time and it's for the Russkis in a Gulag, proving that capable employees are hard to find and that HRM sometimes does work and that she ALWAYS is a sight to behold. But sadly, instead of a rehash of 1 and 2 (which would be perfectly ok), we get a stupid James Bond video-surveillance plot. This is so boring. I was sure then that the version I saw must have been heavily cut. I mean, it had to be, hadn't it? But no, the unuct versions I later saw are basically as shitty as the one I wittnessed. Skip it and go for installment 3 (Greta/Ilsa, the wicked warden) instead, where Jess Franco, eager to re-establish his mastership in seedy WIP films will bury her six feet deep in an unnamed south-american jungle. 

VERDICT: Completely and utterly worthless (in a bad way)

7. Tiger Jungle (aka Black Belt Fury) (TW 1976)

Kino 3: 22:00 Die Pranke des gelben Tigers (The Prangs of the Yellow Tiger)

No-one knows this taiwanese Kung-Fu movie. Wonder why. Way back then I did not care much for Kung-Fu films so I did not bother myself with going into Kino 3. Given the artwork and what little I found on this film I still don't care.


Verdict: As somebody in IMDB wrote: "For Wen Chiang Lung's (ed: the director) completists only, if there are any."

8. The Cobra (HK 1981)

Kino 3: 23:30 Im Würgegriff der Roten Cobra (In the Stranglehold of the Red Cobra) Interestingly there is the similarly titled "In the Stranglehold of the Yellow Snake" - with both "The Red Cobra" and "The Yellow Snake" being German Krimis from the 1960s.

The usual tale of a kung-fu guy who witnesses the killing of his dojomaster by the Red Cobra gang, flees with his wife somewhere else (rescuing master's little daughter) and gets in trouble with a local gang. Exactly. The Red Cobra. He goes rampage and we got a boss-fight between him and the killer of his master. Run-of the mill potboiler who shows some nerve depicting violence against women and small children and being basically carefree about, well, klling other people. I've been not able to watch this movie, as it is still banned in Germany (and was at that time!!).  And there is, to my knowledge no international version out there. 

9. Dance of the Drunk Mantis (HK 1979)

Kino 4: 01:15 Der Knochenbrecher schlägt wieder zu (The Bonebreaker strikes again)

German Dub Version: In the epic struggle between the "North" and the "South" about which style of fighting is the right one, thing get a little bit out of hand. There is only one guy who can re-establish order: The Drunken Master. English Dub Version: Returning after training Freddy Wong, the Drunk Master is attacked by the newly-adopted son of his wife. You decide.

It is sequel time for "Drunken Master", but without Jackie Chan and without huge box-office results. A rather dull affair, that actually ends in a cliff-hanger!!

Verdict: Half as much fun than with Jacky Chan.

10. Sex Rally (FR 1974)

Kino 4: 22:00 Grand Prix im Bett (Grand Prix in the Bed)/ Le Rallye des joyeus (The Rally of Pleasures)

This is a completeley forgettable very softcore sex comedy, made cheaply by the french. It is neither funny nor sexy nor are there any sights male/female/landscape/cars to see. Well of course it is about some count who puts out a price money for the winner of a rally. The teams try to fool each other and of course more of the times the find themselves in spicy situations. Skin time is very, very rare in this movie, basically cheating us and it is obvous that the talent of everyone in this movie is very limited to nonexistent.

I fast forwarded through the print that I could find, thankful that I had not wasted any of my pretious youth on that one.

Verdict: Utter rubbish in every regard.

11. Eros in the Office or Office Girls or Office Sex or Sex in the Office (GER 1971)

Kino 4: 00:30 Erotik im Beruf (Eroticism at Work)

 

1971 must have been THE year for director Ernst Hofebauer. Riding on the success of his first "Schoolgirl Report" the previous year, he directed no less than 5 valuable time-capsules of life in Germany in the 70is. And this is all true. I know. I've been there. I' So after "Schoolgirl Report 2" we get "Vacation Report (what the travel guides do not tell us)" and "Girls at the Gynaecologist", "The new hot report: what men cannot believe" and of course this documentary about "Eroticism on the Job (what the HRM does not tell us)". Just to give you some information. ALL of these films made twice to ten times more money on the german box office than Argento's most successful film "The Cat o' Nine Tails" ---. In typical Mondo-Style... .eh.... Report Style, actual scenes and interviews are cut together with staged sex scenes. Hofebauer claims to have interviewed actual politicians and union members for this movie, which was the lowest-grossing of his 71 output. And it shows. Much less entertaining than "Girls at the Gynaecologist". Really. 

Verdict: It made twice as much money as "cat". So what do you expect? (hey, that's a BAR)

12. Insatiable Alicia and the Marquis (SPAIN??? SWISS??? FRANCE?????? 1983)

Kino 4: 02:00 El marques, la menor y el travesti (The Marquis, the Minor and the Transvestite)/ Ein Sommer voller Liebe (A Summer full of Love)

Man, researching this one was really hard. I had to dive into the archives of the official swiss cinematheque to verify that it is the movie that I watched. "Summer full of Love" ain't "Summer full of Vice/A debauched Sumer" made by the same guy in the same year and it ain't "A Summer in the Country" made by the same production company with Brigitte Lahaie (who, btw. is still wating for her lifetime-achievement Academy Award). Linking them together is the obscure spaniard Jaime Jesús Balcázar who started off writing "The Castle of Dr. Fu Manchu" and then went all in for EC Dietrichs swiss ELITE-FILMs. You know now where this goes. I am very sure that if I watch all three movies in a row, the story, the house and most of actors will be the same. A yes, it's about some burgoise on vacation doing it with their slaves... eh servants ... maids... eh.. .butlers.. .. you know. I'm pretty sure the house belongs to one of the producers, he got paid, money has been laundered. It's a quiet life in the country. ... sadly it's 1983, so we cannot expect 2 Jess Franco films made on the same set too.... what a shame. It's actually softcore. Though I won't guarantee that there isn't a hc version out there somewhere too.

Main actress Choncha Valero looks strikingly special and is in her prime. She had previously starred in those great spanish opii "A Virgin for Caligula" and "Depravity" - and I do not make these titles up.  

Verdict: Films made for oblivion.